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Basic Toilet Humor

Toilet humor has traditionally served as the safe haven of your Daily, and we are always mindful to significant toilet tales and key events, particularly within football. What a delight it was to find out that a prominent writer Adrian Chiles has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Consider the situation for the Barnsley fan who understood the bathroom rather too directly, and needed rescuing from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory at half-time during a 2015 defeat by Fleetwood. “His footwear was missing and couldn't find his phone and his hat,” elaborated an official from the local fire department. And nobody can overlook at the pinnacle of his career with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli popped into a local college to access the restrooms in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then entered and inquired directions to the restrooms, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “After that he was just walking around the college grounds acting like the owner.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday marks 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager following a short conversation within a restroom stall with FA director David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat versus Germany during 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the famous old stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, his private Football Association notes, he stepped into the wet struggling national team changing area immediately after the match, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams “fired up”, both of them pleading for the official to reason with Keegan. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies discovered him collapsed – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the corner of the dressing room, whispering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to save the circumstance.

“What place could we identify [for a chat] that was private?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Just a single choice remained. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history took place in the vintage restrooms of a venue scheduled for destruction. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I secured the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, eventually revealing he viewed his tenure as national coach “without spirit”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's an extremely challenging position.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. For better or worse, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are no longer present, whereas a German currently occupies in the technical area Keegan previously used. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Current Reports

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for women's football cup news regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“There we stood in a long row, wearing only our undergarments. We were Europe’s best referees, elite athletes, role models, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina inspected us completely with an ice-cold gaze. Silent and observant” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures referees were previously subjected to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“How important is a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem called ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to oversee the primary team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and provided some branded items, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the schoolyard with youngsters he knew would beat him up. This masochistic tendency must account for his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|